


Run

by crzb



Category: Naruto
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Panic Attacks, suigetsu is in here but not enough to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-30
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2021-01-13 00:56:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21235469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crzb/pseuds/crzb
Summary: Why am I crying? His legs ached. He had no idea how long he had been running but he knew he had gone pretty far, because he didn’t recognize anything near him at all, not the trees and not any of the wild life flitting around him.





	Run

_Run. Run. Run._ He couldn’t think. He couldn’t breathe, he could only hear the sound of his feet hitting the ground, the sound of leafs being pushed aside. Sasuke’s clothes were getting wet from brushing the leafs, having had rained earlier that day. It made his clothes feel heavier, making him feel slightly more panicked. The little bit of pressure felt suffocating. There was water droplets trickling into his shoe, rolling down his face. He let out a very, very shaky short breath that rattled on its way out. It sounded vaguely like a metal can getting crushed (not that he could hear it). His kept moving forward hurriedly, feet slapping the ground, bare soles probably getting hit with all kinds of rocks and twigs, not caring what he stepped on as long as he was moving forward.  


He didn’t notice a branch in his way protruding awkwardly at an angle and tripped on it. It was so unlike him to trip on anything that he forgot that he had been running and burst out laughing. It sounded very tinny. It echoed poorly in the forest, not loud enough to alarm the foul and small creatures that lay in it. It almost sounded cruel. It made his whole body shake as he lay on the ground, mud covering his knees, shoulders convulsing as the laughter in him died down as quickly as it began. He touched a hand to his face, hands still shaking slightly, pulling it back to find that it was wet. _ Am I crying? _ He hadn’t cried in so long. He thought he couldn’t anymore. He looked at his hand, running it under his eyes again, grazing the skin softly as his hand shook, and found he was still crying. _Why am I crying?_ His legs ached. He had no idea how long he had been running but he knew he had gone pretty far, because he didn’t recognize anything near him at all, not the trees and not any of the wild life flitting around him.  


The week had been going great. It had been a good week, save for today. He didn’t even know what had happened really. There wasn’t really a clear chain of events, a point a to b to c. But he couldn’t tell what had made him fly off. He had never acted this strongly to what he felt was nothing. He’d get like this occasionally, for months after his parent’s deaths he woke up screaming, clutching his chest as if he could force air into his lungs that way. He woke from nightmares every night, visions of swords and scrubbing away big piles of red all by himself, of eyes that found him anywhere and everywhere he could run to, no matter how far. He would leap out of bed and run until his legs would give out, into the forest where he would collapse against a tree and fall asleep after staring into the dark, until his mind finally let himself sleep. It wasn’t comfortable, but its was better than sleeping in the Uchiha compound, empty and haunted by the unliving. He knew why he ran then. He knew why he felt suffocated by the breeze and the leafs that would cling to him. There was a clear cause and effect. He had a nightmare, a night terror, or a memory playing in his mind without reason, and he would run. It felt simple really. Bad event triggered by his past, and bad feelings would ensue, causing him to have an emotional reaction. It would be gone withing a couple hours and he could ignore it again. Why did this feel different? And why did this even happen in the first place?  


The day had been going okay. Not great, but okay. Naruto had woken up, kissed him on the forehead, making him smile (no matter how many hundred times he had done it before and would do it it would always make him smile), and left to go to work. Sasuke had the day off, so he let himself lay in bed for a couple more minutes. His breathing was even as he stared at the ceiling, the tree outside moving in the early morning wind and creating yellow and reckless patterns against the white of the ceiling. He got up to make himself breakfast, like he always did. Same thing every morning. Oatmeal and a single un-buttered piece of toast. Sasuke picked up one of his books from the stack that was on the small coffee table next to the couch, and read it while he finished his meal. He could hear Naruto saying something like “that’s not even a meal! It’s flavorless!” and Sasuke would say something like “oh like instant ramen is?” And by the time both of them stopped bickering, they were both late for work. But since Naruto was not there, he ate his meal in utter and complete silence, save for the bird chirping outside his window as they picked at what remained of his garden.  


On his days off Sasuke liked to train, so that’s what he found himself doing. He found Suigetsu lounging around the Uchiha compound, and thrust one of his swords in his hands. Suigetsu always did most of the talking in their relationship, so Sasuke never had to use many words with the man to communicate (not that he was as loud as Naruto). He wondered vaguely how he had drawn the loudest and most open people he knew so closely to him, despite his overly stony demeanor and refusal to open up, and his less than sufficient communication style. Naruto teased him about it constantly, but he always wondered what people like Naruto or Suigetsu or Karin found in him to begin with.  


Suigetsu eagerly took the sword, as he always did, and they began sparring. By this point they had a great back and forth, almost to the point of predictability. They were several hours into sparring before Suigetsu had to leave to meet up with Kiba, which was fine, he did that all the time now that they were dating. This just meant that he didn’t have anything else to do. Sakura got off her shift at the hospital at four, so he had about two hours to waste until then. This is where everything got a bit hazy for him. He doesn’t remember what happened after that. He doesn’t remember anything besides the five minutes he felt running, the rain slick on his skin and the ground under his feet, and him tripping on a branch.  


His mind was strangely blank. He didn’t feel bad, or good, or feel any sense of guilt or pain. He felt weirdly and completely empty. Calm in a terrifying sense, all encompassing and complete even though it was totally out of place. He sat on the ground, and could barely feel the coldness leaching into his bare feet, wrapping around his arms, making his nose red. Sasuke’s breathes were robotic and entirely too even. In. Out. In. Out.  


“Hey. Sasuke.” Naruto? Sasuke turned to find a somewhat out of breath Naruto approaching him slowly, feet careful and gentle on the forest floor. He must really look terrible. Naruto was approaching him like a scared animal. “You’re like, twenty miles into the forest.” Sasuke didn’t respond, just looked at the blond haired man as he sat down next to Sasuke and crossed his legs. “Sakura said you didn’t meet her after work so she got concerned and sent me after you. Thankfully, I can find you anywhere, since I have so much practice.” Naruto chuckled dryly at his own joke, glancing at Sasuke, who just looked down at the ground. “Hey.”  


Naruto reached a hand out, to put on Sasuke’s knee, and the Uchiha flinched, making Naruto’s brow furrow slightly. He withdrew the hand quickly, placing it on his own knee instead while he nervously tapped out a tune with his fingers while bouncing his leg, worried expression clear on his face even though Sasuke knew that he knew he hated it when he worried about him, and tried to hide his concern whenever it arose. The blond could never school his expressions well, even if he never admitted it. The most powerful shinobi in Konaha, the man who would become hokage, student of one of the legendary Sannin, was basically as see through as glass. “Did something happen?” Sasuke shook his head. He felt kind of stupid, even if he couldn’t control whatever this was. It was making him feel weak and fragile. Even if he knew he wasn’t. Sasuke felt tears rolling down his cheeks, and he didn’t know why. He didn’t wipe them away but just let them fall of his face and onto the fabric of his pants, which was bunched up and covered in mud and was already soaked through with rain water.  


The Uzumaki reached out slowly, carefully, and made sure Sasuke could see his hand as it came forward to wipe his tears from his cheeks slowly. Sasuke leaned into the touch. Naruto was always so very warm, largely due to Karuma’s chakra buzzing through him, but also because this man was the sun. Blindingly bright, sincere and so warm, in all manners of the word. It made Sasuke realize how cold his face was.  


“Sasuke.” It was said almost breathlessly. “You’re freezing. Come here.” Naruto waited for Sasuke to come to him, to lean into him. The Uchiha scooted closer to Naruto, and put his face on the other man’s shoulder, arms wrapping around his chest loosely as Naruto’s arms did the same to his, if tighter. “You’re shaking.” Naruto whispered, since they were so close. For some reason this made Sasuke cry again. And it was more violent, not at all passive like it had been before, but instead ripped through him, coming out in choked sobs. The blond didn’t say anything, just moved his hand to run his fingers through Sasuke’s thick black hair, gently combing the strands and removing the bits of sticks and leafs in them. Sasuke clutched Naruto fiercely, still sobbing loudly into his shoulder. “I love you. I’m so sorry. I love you.” He said it over and over again into Sasuke’s ear. Sasuke leaned out of his touch, coming to rest on the back of his ankles and wiped at his eyes with shaking fingers.  


“I’m sorry.” Sasuke’s voice was a little hoarse, his throat felt dry and full of something too big, and he said it very quietly as his sobs died down. Naruto widened his eyes, and pulled the man back into his arms gently.  


“You have nothing to apologize for, okay?” The fingers on Sasuke’s shoulders tightened slightly. “It’s okay. I love you so much, and I’m so sorry. I love you more than anything, and I know you probably don’t want to talk about it, which is okay. But,” His fingers tightened even more. “If someone did something I’m going to fucking murder them.” Sasuke sighed into the other man’s shoulder.  


“No one did anything.” Though Sasuke would pay to see him beat the poor soul into the earth who did try to do anything to him.  


“Good.” His voice was firm.  


“I don’t know what happened. I don’t remember what happened, but I guess I ran for twenty miles into the forest. That’s all I know.”  


“It’s alright. If you want to talk about it I’m here.” He kissed the top of the Uchiha’s head, rubbing the thumb on his shoulder in small circles. “We should start walking back though. It’s going to take a while and it’s already dark.” Sasuke nodded, untangling himself from the other as he got up. “And I haven’t even eaten dinner yet! You are so taking me to Ichiraku’s.” Then he paused, “unless you don’t feel up to it in which case we will go home and I’ll make you something really great and equally, if not slightly less good, than ramen.”  


Sasuke smirked. “As much as I love your cooking, love, I think getting Ichiraku’s to go sounds nice.” He interlocked his hand with Naruto’s. “Thank you.” He said it quieter, and he sounded a it unsure, his words slightly wavering.  


“Of course! I love you! Now, about my cooking…” And Naruto talked the whole way back about how his cooking was not bad, how he knew how to cook, how many dishes he knew and what they were, and Sasuke couldn’t hate him at all.

**Author's Note:**

> okay. I haven't really edited this. But here it is. Very inspired by me :) love that. Tell me what you think! Ill try to post another short one later this week mleh :P


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